Weeble Week - Chemo #8

Well, soon after I wrote my last post, both Marchus and I came down with the dreaded flu. The fever, body aches – the whole nine yards. I was fortunate NOT to get the stomach part of it. I think it was because I was still taking my anti-nausea medication preventatively for the chemo, and that’s powerful stuff, so my tummy stayed happy, albeit not hungry.

It was one of those weeks that you probably should have just wrapped yourself in bubble wrap and stayed in bed. On Monday, it was raining, and I slipped on some slick tile and went splat – down on all fours. Ugh. Not graceful at all. Because of the Avastin, which impedes the healing process, by knees have turned bright black and blue and were stiff for a few days – all while I was enjoying my flu symptoms. Oh, joy. However, through it al,l I was proud to be the last one in my family to succumb to the illness that took each of us down systematically. I guess my immune system is really working hard to keep me healthy. I was fortunate enough to be really productive work-wise while I sat in bed at home sick on Tuesday and Wednesday. So, at least I didn’t get too far behind. By Thursday, I was on the mend and back at work and then off to chemo this morning.

Chemo today was just Taxol and bisphosphonate (Zomeda – the bone builder). I’m hoping that I have minimal to no reaction to the bisphosphonate this time since it can cause flu-like symptoms, and took me down the last time. It is supposed to be better this time. I’ll keep you posted. With this Chemo #8, I should be officially past the half way point in the chemo process. I am scheduled to get a total of 15 – which seems like a lot, but I am getting a weekly dose, whereas some people get it every two or three weeks in higher amounts. I’m telling myself that since I’ve made it this far with relatively few side effects, I’m going to sail through the remaining seven infusions – let’s hope I am correct in my estimation. ☺ We’ve decided we are going to plan on going on our annual camping trip that our hero Dave plans each year. We hope to see our pals around the campfire in July. ☺ I’m looking forward to it, BIG TIME!!!

So, I have to admit, this whole thing made me reassess my eating habits and, well, I’ve become a little obsessive about eating healthy. (me, obsessive? No! Couldn’t be.) So, I’m eating largely an organic vegetable-based diet. I make myself a “green drink” in my grandmother’s 30+ year old juicer every morning that includes ginger root, lemon, lime, apple, spinach, celery, carrots and kale or broccoli – sounds terrible, huh? But it is de-lish! I make about a quart and drink it throughout the morning. Crazy, huh? But it gives me a lot of energy, and I feel super healthy! No more coffee (though I drank decaf), or hot chocolate, or any sugar even – I was a chocolate addict. Seriously, even a 12 step program wouldn’t have worked for me. I needed to quit cold turkey, and, oddly enough, I don’t miss any of it. I have loads of vitamin supplements – some of them a little wacky, like the blue-green algae, but I figure every little bit of healthy stuff helps. I try REALLY hard not to be over the top, but that’s not easy… still, I try. And Marchus has been really great about cooking up healthy meals, inspired by the whole veggie focus, it seems. Bonus points for a husband that cooks!!! Even Marchus’s mom has gotten on board with eating more simple foods and using organic produce. She’s brought us some fantastic meals! Thanks, Monika!

My latest discovery while on chemo: Jojoba oil is phenomenal for dry skin! I never before have had dry skin, but the chemo makes your skin dry and sometimes itchy. I’ve never liked anything oily for skin products, but jojoba oil just soaks right in instantly. I LOVE it! So, if you have dry skin – give it a try. Let me know if it works for you.

Also, mosquitos don’t love me anymore. I think the chemo keeps them away cuz normally, I am a mosquito magnet. We were at a party where the mosquitos were swarming, and normally I’d go home to discover 20 – 30 bites, and this time I didn’t even get ONE!! There may be something marketable there – yes, you have cancer and will have chemo, but if you have it during mosquito season, you can rest assured that you’ll be bite – free… What a bonus!

My hair is still hanging in there. What’s left of it has grown a lot since I got it cut short. It needs to be cut again because it is growing out from under my wig! I have an appointment next week for that. Hee hee. When you are going through chemo, they don’t want you to color your hair, so it is becoming painfully evident how much gray I have. I finally broke down and ordered a box of henna (which is allowed) to try to cover the gray – there’s only so much a girl can take looking in the mirror and seeing an inch of gray roots on thinning hair. Jeez. I know, could be worse; I could be bald. ☺ Wigs are my friends.

It’s been quiet here on the visitor front for the last month or so, and we are gearing up for more visitors to come beginning next week with my cousin Karol – who has inspirationally been kicking her lung cancer (woo-hoo!!!) that was diagnosed about a month before mine. It will be good to see her and bond over our experiences. Then my oldest girlfriend since 7th grade, Kim, is coming for Memorial Day weekend. Should be great to catch up! And then my Dad and Beth are coming – which I always enjoy so much. ☺

So, all in all, life is good despite the bumps in the road. I feel everyone’s tremendous support and really am so appreciative and blessed to have so many fantastic friends and relatives, and even people I don’t know, supporting me. It really helps me to reflect on how fortunate I am and keep my focus on becoming well again knowing I have a whole team behind me – both near and far. I know I haven’t returned everyone’s emails, cards and notes, but please know that each of them touches my heart and means so much. I will respond eventually – it just takes me awhile sometimes as I juggle all of the pieces of my life these days. Please keep them coming! They mean a lot!

I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend.

Chemo ROCKS!

Thanks so much to everyone for all your thoughts, wishes and prayers! All of your tremendous support along with the chemo is working to eradicate this cancer from my body! I am so thrilled with how well it is all going and can’t thank you enough for helping me through this process. This is a team effort and our team is making it happen! THANK YOU!!!

At my appointment on Friday with my oncologist, I got a copy of my PET scan results. My triage nurse told me, “I think your cancer melted more than anyone's I've ever seen. You’ve had an optimal response, which is so fantastic!!” YAY! My oncologist is really happy with the results, too. So, it looks like the plan is to continue two more rounds of chemo (Taxol + Avastin), which will put us at the end of June. Then, do another PET scan and then one more round of chemo with just Taxol. After the PET scan, the Tumor Board and surgeon will look at my history and decide what they recommend. The reason to stop the Avastin in June is that I have to be off of Avastin for six weeks prior to surgery because Avastin interferes with the healing process – and we don’t want that!

So, now for the details of the PET scan, for those who are interested.


The PET scan measures both the size and metabolic rate of the cancer. So, most of the time, there are two numbers – size in centimeters and metabolic rate. At the first PET scan, the breast mass had a metabolic rate of 6.2, now it is 3.0 (LESS THAN ½ of WHAT IT WAS!!); it measured 8.6cm x 3.2cm – now it measures 4.9cm x 1.9 and is “ill defined” which means it is difficult to measure. My oncologist said this measurement is difficult to assess because they don’t know how much of it is cancer and how much is scar tissue. Either way, it is SHRINKING. With regard to my lymphnodes – the largest underarm one measured 1.6cm x 1.5cm with a metabolic rate of 6.1 originally and is now 8mm with a metabolic rate of 2.2! Now that’s some shrinkage. The subpectoral lymphnode originally measured 7mm with a metabolic rate of 1.5, and is now 6mm with NO SIGNIFICANT metabolic rate. YAY!!! And now for the bones: The bone spots are measured only by metabolic rate. Originally, I had 6 bone spots. The metabolic rates measured from 2.0 to 4.6. Now, the highest metabolic rate is 2.5, and two spots aren’t showing any metabolic rate anymore. My oncologist said that once the metabolic rate gets below 2.0, they are really not worrisome. Three of the four spots are below 2.0! SO, I’m doing great in the bone department.

One of the funniest parts of the PET scan, which I totally disagree with, is that they reported my brain to be “unremarkable”. Hee hee… Some of you may agree with that assessment…


The hardest thing about going to chemo this week was that Adam woke up at 5am that morning with the stomach flu. Poor guy was throwing up as we left for the day. I wanted nothing more than to stay with him and try to make him feel better. Our fantastic nanny did a great job keeping him comfortable all day, and I was really happy to see him with a light back in his eyes when we got home. Of course, never to be outdone by his brother, Matthew came down with the flu Saturday afternoon. Poor guy didn’t know what was going on. He’d throw up in the bucket and say, “All done, all done”… He just wanted it to stop. Both boys are back in good health, however, I’m afraid our wonder-nanny is in the midst of it now… Poor thing.



The highlight of the week was Adam learning to ride his two-wheeled bike all by himself and seeing the biggest smile full of pride on his face. It was a beautiful moment. When he got his bike in January for his fourth birthday, I threw away the training wheels - my theory being that they don’t help teach balance, but give a false sense of security and make it more difficult and frustrating for a kid to learn once they’re taken off. So, with lots of practice balancing on his balance bike and pedaling on a tricycle, Adam mastered the bike after fewer than a dozen or so efforts. What a relief… I was hoping I wasn’t a “mean mommy” for making him learn without training wheels.

This Friday, I get my second dose of bisphosphonate – the bone builder. I am really hoping I don’t have the icky response I had to it last time. It is supposed to be significantly less, so fingers crossed on that one.

Great Scan Results !!!

Friday morning, I had my PET/CT scan at UCSF in China Basin near the Giants Ballpark. This worked out well because we took the kids with us, and Marchus took the kids over to the ballpark while I did my scan. A PET/CT scan is where you get injected with some radioactive sugar, which is then metabolized faster by the cancer cells and some kind of "contrast" dye is also injected into you for the CT part of it. That way they can overlay the two images and see what is going on. You lie on your back completely still while you go into a giant tube. It's a little claustrophobic cuz you are in there for about 30 - 40 minutes, but they play music, and I kept my mind focused on other things. I know it is far more complex than this, but that's the gist of it.

Anyway, after the scan, which ended around noon, we waited and waited until late afternoon when I put in a call to my triage nurse, Janine. Janine called me back around 4:30 with some preliminary findings from the scan. Basically, she said all of the cancer that showed before is significantly smaller or not visible!!! All of the metabolic activity (which is what they measure) is decreased. She told me that my oncologist is "really happy!!" with the results and that I couldn't ask for a better scan!!! I am beyond relieved. I knew that this cancer was going away because I can feel it getting smaller - but it is great to know that modern technology that specifically measures it agrees with what my sense is!! :)

I will get more specific information when I see my oncologist next Friday as to what exactly the report from the radiologist shows. But for now, I can sleep better knowing for sure that the chemo is working and that I am well on my way to being cancer free. I'm still feeling great, thanks in part, I'm sure, to my fantastic acupuncturist. I still have quite a bit of hair - not good hair, but I do have hair, and it isn't falling out much at all now. I'm glad I didn't ever get around to shaving my head cuz it is kind of nice to have something there to keep my head warm at night. :)

And so, as this Mother's Day weekend begins, I couldn't have been given a better gift than knowing that the cancer is retreating and that I can begin to look confidently ahead to a long life, watching my children grow up and sharing my life with so many people that I love and hold close my heart. You have all bolstered me through this and with the support of each of you, this battle is being won!!! Thank you again for being a part of my life and my team!! We are WINNING!!!

Scan Tomorrow!

OK. So, tomorrow morning is my long awaited PET/CT scan. If I said I wasn't a little anxious about it, I'd be lying. I am really hoping it shows dramatic reduction or elimination of the cancer in my bones, as well as elsewhere. I will be SO relieved if that is the case. So, fingers crossed, saying prayers and sending good thoughts into the universe for a really good PET/CT scan result. Think of me in the tube tomorrow around 11am. :) I'll post the results when we hear - which should be tomorrow afternoon or Monday. :)

This week has been great. I have had a little fatigue toward the evenings, but otherwise, I'd never know I had chemo on Friday. Seriously, chemo gets a bad rap. It's not at all like the horror stories of years ago with people sickly and throwing up all the time. For anyone who just got their diagnosis and fears chemo, I say, "Don't knock it 'til you try it. :)"

Since this roller coaster ride began in February, I've lost about 20 pounds. While I am happy to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes, this was not the ideal circumstance to lose the baby weight. It is funny, though, that this week I had two evening meetings with people who don't know of my diagnosis. At each of those meetings, someone commented that I looked great, and how much weight have you lost, and that great new haircut etc... Pretty funny. I must have really looked like crap before if I look better going through chemo! ha ha. I didn't have the heart to say anything but, "Thank you." Again, I guess chemo agrees with me, and it should - it is saving my life. :)

Somehow, I am feeling like I've turned a corner in the last week or so. With two months and six infusions of chemo under my belt, I feel like I've hit my stride in this and am just powering forward toward being cured. It is just feeling right, and no longer scary and daunting. That may change as the process moves forward, but, right now, it's pretty good. I've actually had days where I didn't think about it too much and kind of had to remember that I am fighting cancer. It's been really nice to not have that as a major focus but rather to be able to focus more and observe the amazing things my kids are doing these days with Adam really becoming a charming little boy who is an expert negotiator and planner, and Matthew exploring and mastering the art of speaking words as a form of communication. These boys are fascinating, and watching them grow and explore the world is such a gift. So, as I look toward Mothers' Day this weekend, I feel so blessed to have these little ones as my sons. They keep me on my toes and keep me entertained. And so, to all the Moms out there, Happy Mothers Day. Enjoy.

I'm a Weeble...

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down... well this past week, I've been a Weeble and wobbling a lot. Last friday, the 23rd, I got my first dose of bisphosphonate, which is a bone builder to make my bones strong and healthy. It's kind of a really high dose of that Boniva stuff that Sally Field hawks. The side effects from the first dose are always the worst - low grade fever, flu-like symptoms, bone aches, weakness - and, well, I got them all. It really knocked me down for several days... and then to top it off, I got a nasty cold that kept me in bed for the week. It was really no fun at all - actually quite miserable. My aunt was here visiting and took tremendously fantastic care of me. I had no appetite, but she made sure I kept eating. So, I lost less than a pound this week, even though I could have sworn I was dropping many. I felt better by friday morning, so that I was well enough to go get my sixth chemo, completing Round Two. WOW! Two rounds of chemo under my belt already. Phew! I'm still not sure how many I'll get, but I'm pretty sure I'll get at least four - so I'm half way to four already!

At my clinic appointment yesterday, again, the tumor has shrunk significantly. It is literally just melting away - according to the plan, right?!! It's getting mushy, instead of the hard mass it used to be. My lymphnode under my right arm is gone, and the left one is down to about 1/2 cm, if that. All good news. I'm responding so well that I actually heard words like, "Well, we'll monitor you closely with scans and tests for five years, and then we'll consider you cured." YAY! This is the first time they have made any predictions about my prognosis, and hearing that yesterday really took a load off my mind. The professionals are considering me on the way to being cured! What a fantastic vote of confidence, cuz we all know that medical professionals don't like to give false hope. So, I'm considering this to be a real vote of confidence for my future. Hooray!



I also had the most amazing infusion nurse for my chemo yesterday. Marisa got the IV in with just a tiny pinch (unlike my last three experiences, which were rather unpleasant), and she was so on top of it that we were all done in just over three hours! In the past, we have been there for five and six hours because we spent so much time waiting for the nurse to come back and switch my IV bags. It really showed me that having a great infusion nurse makes the experience much easier. I requested that Marisa sign up to be my infusion nurse every time...we'll see if that works; they don't like to preassign nurses, but one can hope, right? :)

Next Friday, I have the week off from chemo but have my long awaited PET/CT scan. The first one since I started treatment. I'm a little nervous about what it will show, but am also hopeful. I don't want to get my hopes up too high and then be disappointed, but I am really hoping that the spots on my bones show up as dead cells or are gone. That would be SUCH a huge relief. So, everyone keep you fingers crossed, say prayers, affirmations, whatever it takes to send energy my way on Friday for no sign of cancer in my bones.

Again, I just have to thank everyone for your tremendous support. All of your emails, notes, cards, gifts and food are so thoughtful and mean so much to me and my family. I am continuously truly touched, and my heart swells with the love and support I feel all around me helping me heal. It is these warm gestures that bring tears to my eyes - tears of appreciation and gratefulness for how blessed I am. I really can't thank you enough.

And so, as we begin this new month today, I am beginning this month with great hope - hope that continues to build each day as I move farther away from diagnosis and closer to being cured. And, planner that I am, I'm already planning my big CURED PARTY! No date yet, of course, but you're ALL invited to come share the big celebration of my being CANCER FREE when I am done with all of this!!!