Well, I was doing really well anxiety-wise until Sunday, and then it all flooded in like the dam had broken. So, I was actually feeling some relief when Monday finally came and I was heading back into the tube for the brain MRI. I kept my eyes closed the whole time this time to avoid the claustrophobia. Usually, when you are finished, they usher you quickly back out to the nurse in the prep area. This time, as I stopped to pick up my hat off a table, I noticed my BRAIN on the computer screen. I asked the tech if that was, in fact, my brain. Oh yes, he said and he scrolled through the image from the front of my face to the back of my head, and then quickly from the top of my head to the bottom. Now, I'm no radiologist, but I didn't see any glaring spots anywhere and that allowed me to breathe a little easier. I don't think they are supposed to do that, and they never have before, but I sure appreciated it!
Later Monday night, I got a text from my oncologist that the MRI looked great! As you might imagine, the flood of emotions was tremendous. My mom and I quickly got on the phone to call close family members and send out some text messages to get the word out. I don't think it really sunk in until the next morning when I awoke at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep because my mind was reeling - this time, in a good way. :)
So, the MRI report says that they can see only 3 of the original 12 spots, but those 3 spots are shrinking. These may be the original 3 that started all of this by showing up on a PET scan in January. I'm really happy that they are on their way out and that nothing new showed up. That was actually my biggest worry - and having sinus issues, related headaches and a few spins of vertigo recently didn't help relieve those worries. But, now that I know there is nothing to worry about, all of those things are going away as well. Irony, huh?
In any case, now we can plan our summer. The kids are out of school on Friday, and Marchus and I are going to sit down with a calendar and map it all out - keeping in mind my chemo schedule etc. I feel like my road back to health is getting clearer and with the support of my family and friends, I will get there. I'm on my way! Now, I just have to get rid of those other spots, which is next.
I really cannot thank everyone enough for their thoughts, prayers, good wishes and tremendous support. Knowing that each of you is out there cheering me on bolsters my spirit and warms my heart. Thank you so much! As I promised before, I'll continue posting more often...
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
The Next Chapter
I know, it’s been a very long while since I posted and I’ve made a resolution to do this more often. So check back and bug me if I’m not posting enough.
Well, it’s been another rocky ride to start 2013, and I’m finally starting to get my feet under me again. In January, I had a scan that showed that the liver lesion was back in action and there was another one that sprouted near my liver. To add to this, there was some kind of sheet-like cancer around my intestines and a couple spots on my spine. And just to make sure I was getting the message, there were 12 spots in my brain.
But no need to panic! In February, I had Gamma Knife radiation on the spots on my brain, which showed them all shrinking up in March. I have another brain MRI on Monday, June 3 and am holding strong prayers that it turns out with good results!
Unfortunately, when I had the Gamma Knife procedure, I was also getting that terrible flu and ended up with a 104 degree fever that got me sent from Gamma Knife to the ER, where they ran a bunch of tests, diagnosed me with the flu and had concerns that I might have fungal pneumonia. This meant we got to follow the night in the ER with a bronchoscopy a couple days later – which turned up nothing. And I got to take heavy duty anti-fungal medication for a month, which contributed to my month in bed with the flu. It was brutal.
Meanwhile, my doctor had changed my treatment and I had to go off of it because of the spots in my lungs that they thought were the fungal pneumonia. Turns out they don’t do CT scans on people who have the flu and it was probably just what happens in people’s lungs when they have the flue. When we went back for the scan to check out my lungs and everything else, where the lungs came out clear (thankfully), there was a bit more going on in the liver and intestine area. So, it was onto weekly chemo of Epirubicin, which I started in mid March and which sent me back to bed feeling awful for weeks and made my hair head south again.
Thankfully, my last scan at the end of April showed that things were calming down in my abdomen and I was switched to a different chemo, Doxil, which is every 4 weeks. This is a much more tolerable treatment and I’m actually feeling good enough now to get out and about. The biggest side effect is fatigue, but compared to where I’ve been, it’s nothing!
Through all of this, I’ve had a lot of time to think, and think, and think some more. Despite what seems to be pretty terrible news, which I realized as I typed it out, I’m feeling really positive about my future. I am planning to live a very long time – to be 93, to be exact. And I’m planning to be healthy in the process too. I am going to be here to raise my kids and to play with my grandchildren. I just know in my heart that that is true. One way or another, I will get through this. I’ve added some new dietary tools and am still doing acupuncture and reiki. My husband and family have been sweet, supportive and full of love, as have my friends, and that makes me really happy. It’s not that I haven’t had my dark moments, but that I am choosing to look in a positive direction.
So, despite having occasional anxiety, fear, worry and all those things, I also see possibility and healing in my future.
Please do keep me in your thoughts and prayers for good health and thank you for your support!! I’ll post again soon.
Well, it’s been another rocky ride to start 2013, and I’m finally starting to get my feet under me again. In January, I had a scan that showed that the liver lesion was back in action and there was another one that sprouted near my liver. To add to this, there was some kind of sheet-like cancer around my intestines and a couple spots on my spine. And just to make sure I was getting the message, there were 12 spots in my brain.
But no need to panic! In February, I had Gamma Knife radiation on the spots on my brain, which showed them all shrinking up in March. I have another brain MRI on Monday, June 3 and am holding strong prayers that it turns out with good results!
Unfortunately, when I had the Gamma Knife procedure, I was also getting that terrible flu and ended up with a 104 degree fever that got me sent from Gamma Knife to the ER, where they ran a bunch of tests, diagnosed me with the flu and had concerns that I might have fungal pneumonia. This meant we got to follow the night in the ER with a bronchoscopy a couple days later – which turned up nothing. And I got to take heavy duty anti-fungal medication for a month, which contributed to my month in bed with the flu. It was brutal.
Meanwhile, my doctor had changed my treatment and I had to go off of it because of the spots in my lungs that they thought were the fungal pneumonia. Turns out they don’t do CT scans on people who have the flu and it was probably just what happens in people’s lungs when they have the flue. When we went back for the scan to check out my lungs and everything else, where the lungs came out clear (thankfully), there was a bit more going on in the liver and intestine area. So, it was onto weekly chemo of Epirubicin, which I started in mid March and which sent me back to bed feeling awful for weeks and made my hair head south again.
Thankfully, my last scan at the end of April showed that things were calming down in my abdomen and I was switched to a different chemo, Doxil, which is every 4 weeks. This is a much more tolerable treatment and I’m actually feeling good enough now to get out and about. The biggest side effect is fatigue, but compared to where I’ve been, it’s nothing!
Through all of this, I’ve had a lot of time to think, and think, and think some more. Despite what seems to be pretty terrible news, which I realized as I typed it out, I’m feeling really positive about my future. I am planning to live a very long time – to be 93, to be exact. And I’m planning to be healthy in the process too. I am going to be here to raise my kids and to play with my grandchildren. I just know in my heart that that is true. One way or another, I will get through this. I’ve added some new dietary tools and am still doing acupuncture and reiki. My husband and family have been sweet, supportive and full of love, as have my friends, and that makes me really happy. It’s not that I haven’t had my dark moments, but that I am choosing to look in a positive direction.
So, despite having occasional anxiety, fear, worry and all those things, I also see possibility and healing in my future.
Please do keep me in your thoughts and prayers for good health and thank you for your support!! I’ll post again soon.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Catching up and Doing Great
Well, here it is almost October, and I haven’t updated this blog since June! Sorry folks. Well, it’s been a bit of a rocky ride since June but I’m on the mend now and doing well. So, let’s just start with that.
In May and June, I had 3 surgeries in 6 weeks to try to repair some radiated skin that wasn’t healing. Turned out this new portable wound vac made called Via finally did the trick and now that’s all healed up. Phew. Also in June, I had another scan which revealed a lesion on my liver. It was a small one – only 2 cm x 1.4 cm, but worrisome enough that I switched from my Faslodex (hormone therapy) to an oral chemotherapy called Xeloda. The chemo has taken some getting used to though I’m heading into round 6 tomorrow and I am feeling pretty good. My only challenges with it are fatigue, foot and stomach issues. As amazing as it sounds, my dad actually worked on the foundation of this chemo about 30 years ago. So, that he had a hand in developing the drug that is saving my life just touches my heart.
I should note that I had another scan in September and it showed that although the liver lesion was still there, it was not measurably metabolically active any more than the rest of my liver which means it is basically dormant. That was only 10 weeks since I started on the chemo, so perhaps by my next scan, it will have shrunk down or disappeared! Big prayers for that!
It was a pretty rough road with all of this over the summer and there were definitely moments where I was so sick, I couldn’t even go downstairs or sit up or eat much. Looking back on that, it is amazing how the body can rebound in such a short time. We had a great time at Relay for Life and our rookie team raised over $6,000!!! Yay, team! And my health is returning – I’m back at work, walking our dog and although I am pretty exhausted by the time the kids are asleep, I am thankful for every day. I’m especially thankful to have the support of my incredible family during this rough time, my friends I spent time with and for the folks at work who organized meals, fundraisers and just a whole lot of support through this really challenging time for me and my family.
Just to round out our summer, Adam (age 6) broke his arm the weekend before school started and Marchus’ unemployment benefits were cancelled and we had to appeal. But through it all, we’ve hung in there and bonded together as a family through thick and thin. It just goes to show that it’s all about attitude and faith. We know we’ll get through all of this and we will persevere through whatever hurdles we encounter – life throws these challenges at you and it’s what you make of them that counts.
Wishing everyone a healthy and happy fall season. I’ll try to keep posting.
In May and June, I had 3 surgeries in 6 weeks to try to repair some radiated skin that wasn’t healing. Turned out this new portable wound vac made called Via finally did the trick and now that’s all healed up. Phew. Also in June, I had another scan which revealed a lesion on my liver. It was a small one – only 2 cm x 1.4 cm, but worrisome enough that I switched from my Faslodex (hormone therapy) to an oral chemotherapy called Xeloda. The chemo has taken some getting used to though I’m heading into round 6 tomorrow and I am feeling pretty good. My only challenges with it are fatigue, foot and stomach issues. As amazing as it sounds, my dad actually worked on the foundation of this chemo about 30 years ago. So, that he had a hand in developing the drug that is saving my life just touches my heart.
I should note that I had another scan in September and it showed that although the liver lesion was still there, it was not measurably metabolically active any more than the rest of my liver which means it is basically dormant. That was only 10 weeks since I started on the chemo, so perhaps by my next scan, it will have shrunk down or disappeared! Big prayers for that!
It was a pretty rough road with all of this over the summer and there were definitely moments where I was so sick, I couldn’t even go downstairs or sit up or eat much. Looking back on that, it is amazing how the body can rebound in such a short time. We had a great time at Relay for Life and our rookie team raised over $6,000!!! Yay, team! And my health is returning – I’m back at work, walking our dog and although I am pretty exhausted by the time the kids are asleep, I am thankful for every day. I’m especially thankful to have the support of my incredible family during this rough time, my friends I spent time with and for the folks at work who organized meals, fundraisers and just a whole lot of support through this really challenging time for me and my family.
Just to round out our summer, Adam (age 6) broke his arm the weekend before school started and Marchus’ unemployment benefits were cancelled and we had to appeal. But through it all, we’ve hung in there and bonded together as a family through thick and thin. It just goes to show that it’s all about attitude and faith. We know we’ll get through all of this and we will persevere through whatever hurdles we encounter – life throws these challenges at you and it’s what you make of them that counts.
Wishing everyone a healthy and happy fall season. I’ll try to keep posting.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Relay for Life
Join my team for Relay for Life – July 28 – 29 in Napa, CA. It is always a great event full of inspiration, camaraderie, entertainment and fun. We’ll be there for 24 hours and camping out that night, so come join us or support our efforts through a donation to the American Cancer Society. It is a terrific cause!!!
Copy this link to your browser for my personal page:
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?px=17108793&pg=personal&fr_id=36842&fl=en_US&et=4Jk7zF3XXCNBwpLcYZVBPA&s_tafId=833881
Copy this link to your browser for The “J” Team page:
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?team_id=1093699&pg=team&fr_id=36842&fl=en_US&et=Su7zTeLnQ3SpWudFCSE1og&s_tafId=833881
As for me, I’m on the mend again after a quick surgery last week to repair an area of an incision that hadn’t healed. Unfortunately, it involved a few days in the hospital on IV antibiotics, but that made me all the more happy to go home. I have a scan on June 13 and I anticipate it will all show great results with nothing active again. Please continue your good wishes and prayers for my great health! I’m continuing to try to keep to my diet and exercise routine and I do feel better and better as time goes by.
I hope to see lots of familiar smiling faces at Relay for Life in July!
Copy this link to your browser for my personal page:
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?px=17108793&pg=personal&fr_id=36842&fl=en_US&et=4Jk7zF3XXCNBwpLcYZVBPA&s_tafId=833881
Copy this link to your browser for The “J” Team page:
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?team_id=1093699&pg=team&fr_id=36842&fl=en_US&et=Su7zTeLnQ3SpWudFCSE1og&s_tafId=833881
As for me, I’m on the mend again after a quick surgery last week to repair an area of an incision that hadn’t healed. Unfortunately, it involved a few days in the hospital on IV antibiotics, but that made me all the more happy to go home. I have a scan on June 13 and I anticipate it will all show great results with nothing active again. Please continue your good wishes and prayers for my great health! I’m continuing to try to keep to my diet and exercise routine and I do feel better and better as time goes by.
I hope to see lots of familiar smiling faces at Relay for Life in July!
Monday, February 6, 2012
Happy, Healthy and looking to give back!
So, I had my last scan on January 18 and it came back ALL CLEAR!!! What a huge relief!! I’ve been walking on air ever since. Scan time evokes so much anxiety and getting good results makes me just feel like dancing around – which I did with my kids. I’d had a bit of worry about these two little bumps that I found. I don’t know how long they were there, but just noticed them a couple weeks before the scan. They didn’t show up on the scan and I showed them to both my oncologist and plastic surgeon last week and they both think they are likely to be titanium clips from my surgery. I’m having an ultrasound at the end of February to just make sure. I had a clip taken out with my last surgery and assumed it was left in erroneously, but as it turns out there are likely more in there… Now, wouldn’t it be helpful if they told you, “by the way, we left a bunch of metal staples in you and they may show up at some point,” so that you don’t have heart failure every time something rises to the surface?? I guess they don’t think of it. So, I’m not too worried since they are wanting to do the ultrasound just to rule anything else out.
I’m feeling great and enjoying getting out for lots of long walks… Speaking of WALKING and giving back, I’ve decided to participate in two events this year – Relay for Life and the Avon Walk… I just signed up to be a team captain for Relay for Life in Napa on July 28 – 29. Relay is a wonderful event that raises money for the American Cancer Society and that benefits cancer patients directly through ACS support programs for individuals in treatment. It is a really fun event and I hope you will consider joining me and/or sponsoring me for this very important event. http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY12CA?pg=team&fr_id=36842&team_id=1093699
Also, I am going to sign up to do the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. The Avon Walk is a 2 day walk September 23 and 24 in Santa Barbara. It is a marathon the first day and a half marathon the second day. Now, I don’t even dream of being able to put that many miles on my feet in such a short time, but I’m going to do my very best to go as far as my little feet will take me. Please consider joining me and/or sponsoring me for this event. I will post my webpage for this shortly.
Thank you so much!!!
Julianne
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Happiest of New Years!!!
With the new year upon us, I'm looking forward to being able to make some plans! First, I have my first scan of they year on Wednesday, January 18 - my grandmother's 100th birthday, and my dear cousin Denise's XX birthday (we won't tell how old she is. :) hee hee). I'm feeling confident that this scan will show all clear, but then those little sneaky doubts poke their head into my consciousness, and I ask them to go away. I'm hoping that getting the results will put all of these crazy thoughts to rest. I'll post again when I get the results - hopefully Wednesday or Thursday.
With regard to plans, I'm planning on doing Relay for Life for the American Cancer Society the last weekend in July. I'm excited to have some friends joining my team - some coming from very far away! The Relay for Life is an annual event that raises money for the American Cancer Society through teams where a team member or 3 or 4 or more walk the track over 24 hours. The idea is to have someone from your team walking at all times so there will be plenty of time to walk or just enjoy one another's company. Once I have the team webpage up, I will post it here. I hope that many of my family and friends will join me in walking in this amazing event.
I hope this new year brings everyone health, wealth and happiness. XO
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
What a difference a year makes!
This time last year, I was recovering from my major surgery moving through the world in a haze. Now, one year later, it's wonderful to be able to recognize how far I've come with my health. That's not to say that I don't have those nagging doubts and suspicions with every ache or pain, but I think it will take awhile for my knee-jerk reaction to be something other than fear of cancer.
In any case, this christmas, I am able to experience the joy and hope that the holiday brings with fresh eyes knowing how blessed we all are to be able to wake up and greet each day - especially those days with stockings, wreaths and ornaments. I have another scan on January 18 - which would have been my grandmother's 100th birthday. I'm hoping that doing it on that day brings me good luck.
I've been having some swelling in my hands since my last surgery in October, so I just saw a physical therapist yesterday to try to address it. She showed me how to make a funny bandage around my fingers - a little like mummy hands. It seemed to work a little bit in the short time I had it on. We'll see if she can manage to get my hands back to their normal bony-ness.
Otherwise, I'm just a harried working mom and wife trying to get everything done in time for the holidays. I wish everyone all the love, joy and laughter of the Christmas season. May you each make a memory this Christmas and be blessed with good health for 2012.
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